"Oh, ok, but you know, not everyone likes onions. Cakes! Cakes have layers. Everyone likes a cakes!"

If you are a client of mine, you know I use a multitude of metaphors and movie references to get my points across using pictures that pop into full color clarity in your brain. Sometimes all the talk and discussion and persuasive pretty words won't turn on that light bulb the way a picture does.

We all have layers like Shrek. Whether you think of them as the layers of an onion, or the parfait that Donkey finally decides on, or the stories of a house, we are not simply a conglomeration of parts that can be removed, fixed and replaced like a car. The tricky part is that all of our layers are connected to all of the other layers that make up who we are and contribute to our overall health. However, we have been told over and over again that this isn't true. We have been told that you can just take this pill or just follow this diet or just do this workout or just say this prayer and everything will be fixed and you won't have to think about what's troubling you again.

Let's look at just one of the layers we're dealing with as humans. You know this one well because it is the focus of our Western way of living: the physical exterior. We are trained from an early age that our exterior is the most important layer we have. It is the focus of fame and fortune. It is the shell that gets all the attention from the diet industry, the manufacturing of beauty, and the celebrity machine. But, nearly all the efforts to perfect and maintain this exterior facade are at the expense of all the layers beneath that shell that actually make us human. The creams and shellacs, the chemicals and processed foods, the medications and surgeries, the deprivation and self-abuse, all lead us down an extremely unhealthy path in the long run. We may end up with a very pretty mask to wear, but just beneath that surface often lives a starved, scared, lonely, lost spark of conscious life that knows something is very wrong but has no idea how to fix it.

We have layers of consciousness, spirit, emotion, intellect, connection, and wonder. We have an inner Self that gets trampled in this Western world by the demands of Ego and it's drive for the perfect shell. We are subjected to a very effective marketing machine that tells our Ego it's doing the right thing. When we starve ourselves by withholding food or fun or friends or feelings, we play into this misguided drive for external perfection (which changes with the whim of fashion every few years). It's designed to be a losing battle and yet we strive for acceptance through this struggle to create the "right" facade. You see this in fashion, $50K cars, 10K square foot houses, extravagant vacations, $25K weddings, and the list goes on as if you could actually buy happiness and fulfillment by focusing solely on the one layer of what it means to be human that actually has the least to do with happiness or fulfillment.

I just had a conversation with a friend about how some of the wealthiest people he works with are the most miserable because they feel that they SHOULD be happy now and they are coming to the realization that they ultimately can't buy a membership to that club. Now I know most of you out there, and me included, don't have that problem (at least as defined by the Western idea of "wealth"). And yet, how many of us put off happiness? How many times do you find yourself saying "I'll be happy when I get that job", or "I'll be happy when this year is finally over", or "I'll be happy when I finally fit into those size 4 jeans"? I challenge you to start seeing from those other layers of who you are and finding ways to insert wonder, amazement and see how good your life actually is. I challenge you to start seeing your glass as half full. I challenge you to be your true self without apology.

Unveil the layers of your REAL Self. Let your spark shine. Get REAL.